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Episode 4 | A Shitbag Christmas

 

This week on episode 4 of the first season of GutsXGritXGrind, the This is Female Powerlifting podcast, we summon the spirit of the festive season to bring you a Santa hat full of powerlifting-related, rant-invoking topics. Take four dirtbag powerlifters, two angel powerlifters (to balance it out) and a five minute timer that signals when it’s time for whiskey shots and you have the worst thing we’ve ever done. The best thing we’ve ever done? Sorry mum. Sorry everyone.

 

3:07 Topic 1: STUPID “US VS THEM” POWERLIFTING DISPUTES. We don’t care what fed you lift in, but posting dumb memes and whining about perceived slights against you because of the fed you lift with is ridiculous. Why is our sport so fragmented?

4:51 More feds, more records. Default gold for everyone!

5:12 We explain what a sub-master is. Sort of. Tess asserts dominance.

6:15 We call out the IPF. BOOM!

9:05 Topic 2: EARNING YOUR OPINION CARD. What is the magic point that we’re allowed to have an opinion on something?  Do we need a degree?  Time in the sport? A certain Wilks?

9:40 Have you considered someone might be smarter than you?

10:30 Darron hates people. (But especially those who don’t recognize other people expertise)

13:05 Bonus time to discuss the Lifting Concern Police. Eff you, windbags!

15:10 Topic 3: IS YOUR PR A PR? If you have added the caveat “no, he didn’t touch the bar I swear” to your PR, you probably didn’t do it alone. Is your competition lift PR really a PR when it’s a mile high, or your butt came off the bench? Are we just too judgemental?

16:40 Be honest with yourself. If your PR isn’t sport specific, it’s irrelevant to your sport.

17:22 Darron wants to see your butt! Show us your butt!

19:02 Gaïa ruins Christmas

19:55 Topic 4: CHEER UP, GYM EEYORES. Please, be happy about something you’ve done, even just once. For me. For you. For everyone.

20:19 Truth bomb: you might not PR during every single training cycle

20:54 Default gold. It’s not Tess’ fault that no other fat old ladies have shown up.

24:08 “Let’s get fucking profound now here, bitches”

26:00 Topic 5: SO YOU’RE INJURED. STOP TALKING ABOUT IT AND START DOING SOMETHING ABOUT  IT. You’ve posted 800 times about your injury/”injury”. You’ve posted 0 times about what you are doing to fix it. This leads us to believe you are doing nothing. When is an injury a legitimate injury and when is it an excuse?

27:40 That time Tess tore her achilles and Darron heard it snap.

29:00 Go see a professional! Quit trying to fix it yourself.

29:15 We all love dry needling.

30:28 Tess and Darron get closer. “You’re the gayest woman that loves my husband.”

31:35 Topic 6: POWERLIFTING OR FITSPO. Let’s be real here. Is that account full of semi-nudes with inspirational captions about powerlifting? Or is it soft core fitspo porn?

31:55 “It is not about what you look like. Lift the thing. That is all.”

33:40 We really can’t emphasize enough how much we like butts. Or at least we don’t think we can. Because we can’t stop talking about it.

35:15 Your ab selfie isn’t powerlifting. Your cleavage selfie isn’t powerlifting. Your traps selfie isn’t powerlifting. They’re just cool selfies.

36:28 Shout out to @kittycatlifting‘s awesome butt!

37:09 Topic 7: GYM PDA: stop cuddling on the ER rack, we all know you’re in loooooove. What do we think about couples cuddling at the gym?

37:23 Beans advocates a return to Victorian-era modesty at the gym.

38:40 Darron and Tess re-enact some gym PDA. You’ll want to check out the YouTube version of our podcast to get the full impact.

39:45 “JUST SCISSOR ALREADY!”

41:25 Topic 8: BABY’S FIRST WATER CUT: No one cares that you were the best at weigh-ins – and other ways people get distracted when it comes to meet prep.

42:02: Rhaea Stinn said it best with “live at your weight.” That was Rhaea, right? RHAEA? RHAEA CAN YOU HEAR US?

45:20 Imagine how powerful you could be if you were bigger!

46:48 Topic 9: TOO LONG, DIDN’T WATCH. We sit through 45 seconds of you wriggling around on the bench for 2 seconds of a 85% single. Lingering over your set-up while glossing over your lifts and other training video pet peeves.

47:54 Please stop trying to make set-up gains.

49:05 We discuss Beans’ squat set up. “But you’re cute as pie when you stomp your feet.” “I’M ANGRY. I’M NOT CUTE. LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF MY HOOVES”

50:33 Use the trim function. You know it’s there. Use it.

51:53 Topic 10: PROGRAM JUMPERS – and their complaints that “nothing is working”. What are the signs someone is sabotaging themselves?

56:00 If you lie to your coach about what you’re doing, you’re sabotaging yourself. Follow the program honestly, keep honest records.

57:40 “You can’t control the speed of the gain train.”

58:55 Is part of being a powerlifter feeling like a sack of shit the majority of the time? We sure seem to think so.

1:00:22 Topic 11: I HAVE A BUBBLE, DON’T VIOLATE MY BUBBLE. What are some of the common ways people invade your space at the gym?

1:00:53 Drunk Beans tells a story about a time some dude invaded her space at the gym.

1:04:20 Want to talk to someone? Pick your moment. Maybe don’t hit on Vanessa when she’s in the MIDDLE of a squat.

1:05:27 VERBAL WARNING: We do yet another shot and things *really* begin to deteriorate. Beans does two shots for good measure. Gaïa forgets the F in TIFPL. We all let loose with a stream of creative curse words. Then, Darron tries to get us back on track.

1:07:50 Topic 12: TERRIBLE SPOTTERS – also UNSOLICITED SPOTTERS: if your presence makes us more nervous than no spotter at all, please go away. Also, please stop using spotting as an excuse to grab boobs. You’re not fooling anyone. How to spot an incompetent spotter and how to tell him or her to buzz off.

1:09:15 We discuss with great gravitas the difference between getting grabbed on the boob and being spotted properly around the midsection.

1:10:08 We reflect on Gaïa’s grinding ability. Darron desperately tries to make the conversation make sense again. She fails.

1:11:42 A fun game for you to play would be to take a shot every time one of us says “Ok, but seriously…” or some variation thereof.

1:14:18 Darron tries to wrap it up. We do one last shot. Thank you for joining us! Please accept our sincere apologies and send your complaints to the TIFPL complaints department, Jon at Evolve Strength.

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